Saturday, December 19, 2009

When You Wish Upon A Star

Mum, I miss you so much!
I know that you are happy and at peace in Heaven, and I remember that each time I feel the ache of not having you here. I know you are always in my heart and in my memories, and I feel you with me every day. I love you, Mum!

Love, Your Missy Mouse

One year ago today, my life changed forever when I lost my Mum after a 4 1/2 year battle with breast cancer. Mum just could not get enough of Disney World, so I thought I'd share one of my favorite pics of her and Daddy having a great time with Tigger!

This past year has been so, so difficult for me, for all of us. It has been so empty, so unnatural not having Mum here and at times, it seemed like the overwhelming sadness would never end. But as each "first" was reached, and each month passed, the hurt slowly started to heal. It will never go away, but that's just a testament to the love I have for her, and she for me.

My sister and I were with her that cold, rainy morning, and at the time I didn't realize what a blessing for me being that would be. For several days, Mum struggled and labored to breathe. The entire family was home and able to tell her good-bye, so we could not figure out what she was waiting for. Then we remembered: our grandfather's - her father's - birthday was on December 19. That had to be it.

Shortly before 8 AM, the day nurse came into her room and was surprised that Mum had made it through the night. She told us to open the window because she said when it's raining and someone is so close, their soul will go straight to Heaven on the rain.

So we opened the window. At that exact moment something divine happened in that room, and no one is going to tell us otherwise. Her labored breathing suddenly calmed, and she had an utter expression of pure peace and an ever-so-slight smile on her face. Five minutes later, Mum took God's hand and went with Him to her eternal life in Heaven. Had I not been there and witnessed it for myself, I don't think I would be where I am in my healing.

I also would not be at that place today without the comfort, strength, and love I've received from my dear friends in the Sisterhood of the Traveling Cards. I am so blessed to have met them through, of all things, stamping!! I was so angry at God for allowing this to happen and I was becoming a not nice person. The deep faith, friendship, and encouragement of those wonderful gals helped me to replace my anger with compassion and caring and helped me to remember all the blessings from God that I have in my life. I love you gals, and I know Mum would love you too!!! {HUG}

I told my dad the other day that I thought of Mum as truly being home for Christmas, because she's in Heaven. He looked at me and hesitated for a moment, but then said, Yes, you're right. She is home for Christmas!

So the next time you are missing someone you've lost, I hope you will try to picture them celebrating Christ's birthday with Him in Heaven, and that it will bring you comfort and peace and joy. And look through your favorite photos of them to bring a smile to your face and a lightness to your heart! And remember,

When you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are, everything your heart desires, will come to you.


Jeanette (Forest Ranger) said...

Susan, my friend, your post today is absolutely beautiful. It oozes with love for your mom, but also with the peace you have and your faith! Thank you for sharing some of your innermost thoughts on this day. You are in my thoughts and prayers! Hugs!!!

Catherine said...

What a beautiful post, Susan, and what an amazing story.
Sending you love and hugs, and wishing you the ultimate Christmas blessing: comfort and joy.
Love you!

kadie said...

This is utterly beautiful, Susan. Thank you for letting us share in such a beautiful tribute to your mum. We love you oh-so much and know without a doubt that you have your mum's heart! That pic is such a Wonderful picture too!
You're friendship is a blessing like no other to me! xoxo

~Paola~ said...

I made it in late to read your wonderful post about your Mom and the woundrous love tribute U dedicated to her.
I have no qualms in telling U that I am crying at this moment,you explained sooo beautifully,eloquently and full of admiration for the most important woman that was in your life...
Susan U have blessed us in soo many ways,hard to explain but just knowing you and the goodnes U always carry in your heart towards others i think that THAT alone is the best reflection U can offer to God...and to your MOm in heaven.
I never heard before,that once someone is ready to let go,the rain would send their soul straight to heaven...
How beautiful it is...and how precious that moment must have been for you to witness,even though it was probably the saddest time of your life.
I love you my dear friend,and I thank you for sharing such precious story and pictures.
God bless ya Susan!

Mary Giles (OhioMary) said...

{{{Big Hugs}}} such a beautiful tribute to a woman that embodies everything beautiful that you are. Love you bunches too. You have been an amazing support and friend to all of us in the sisterhood.